First step of separation

It's almost 11pm and I should be sleeping so that I don't wake up as a big grouch at 5:45am tomorrow. I'm not crazy enough to book myself on an 8am flight for business but my company wanted to have more robust cost control in place and we ended up having to fly a cheaper airline that has, let's just say, very day trip friendly schedule. The thought of being on the same flight with a bunch of people whose company I don't particular enjoy, the prospect of a speak no evil, hear no evil meeting and dinner don't make it any easier for me. However, I'm sleepless for another reason. Tomorrow will be Changunnie's first day at preschool. I think I'm more nervous than she is. To her, it's a place with lots of games and cupcake. To me, it's a lesson of let go.

We gotta be the worst parents of the year by HK standard. We didn't submit any application for school when Changunnie was born. Rather than a deliberate effort, it was a result of ignorance. Shouldn't you apply the year before you start? What does a 10 months old baby know what to say in an interview? According to my dad, I was known as the dummy when I was two. Watching Barry Manilow made my day (oops! My age secret!!) Anyway, it struck us really hard when we went to the last few playgroup sessions with Changunnie. The other kids are all moving on to preschool in September. Changunnie will be the only one left behind in her playgroup and she'll have to hang out with a bunch of two years old.

It was mid August when all that happened and all the schools we know of have no space for anyone. We drove around one day and saw the sign of "Woodland school in Sai Kung" and decided to give it a try. To cut a long story short (read the next post for details), Chanunnie's in and tomorrow will be her first step towards independence.

I'm not sure if it's because she knows she won't be annoyed by mummy asking for hugs and kisses for two days or she knows it's new school year, she's been very clingy this weekend. Maybe it's my dependence on her oozed out through my pores and she took pity on me. I am so positively nervous that I can't sleep now.

A friend once told me that it was fun to see children learning how to walk but before we realize, they run and all we could see is their back. I don't want to be Changunnie's best friend forever. I believe I should be a good mother which is a bit different from being her friend at all times. Anyway, I hope she will remember to let her aging mummy to catch up. It would be nice to see her happy face than her back all the time. Should get some sleep before I turn into the hulk....