My kid vs your kid

We didn't go anywhere this Christmas and New Year. Partly because both Daddy and I stayed back whilst the rest of the team took time off, partly because we have relatives visiting Hong Kong.

Min (Daddy's younger sister) stopped by Hong Kong for a week on her way to Seoul for her research (the difference between a banker's business trip and that of a professor? Bankers travel for "important" meetings which are dominated by unsubstantial conversations that no one would remember after a week whilst Professors talk to real people about their specific field and publish paper afterwards). Hyunjo, Daddy's cousin's youngest Daughter (11 year old) also came here to spend time with us (read Changunnie!) It was nice to see them both. It's been a long time since Min's last visit and it was Hyunjo's first time to Hong Kong (as an accompanied minor which was pretty impressive). Lots of plans were made but we ended up staying home a lot because of the awful weather. Well, no 12 inches snow but it was rainy and cold and killed any incentive to leave the front gate.

Anyway, we ended up spending lots of time at home and that really got me thinking about how to deal with children, especially someone else's children.

Those of you who have children would understand it. So long as the child is yours, you will not see any flaw in him/her. You can be holding a wrinkly monkey-like child and still call him/her the most beautiful angel because he/she is your child. Parents are pretty blind when it comes to anything about their own flesh and blood. I am sure there are times when I talk about nothing but how wonderful my Changunnie is in front of other people. To make it worse, parents can get competitive and be critical at other children (thus, I won't be surprise if I am labelled as a Smug Parent!)

Hyunjo was a joyous girl when I first met her as a toddler. She was outgoing and loved dancing and singing. This time, she was still playful when she was with Changunnie but was very quiet when she was with us. With two children around, there were times when it could be a little rough and instinctively, I tried to protect Changunnie. There were also couple times when I got critical about her eating habit (preference of chocolate over other healthier snack), TV marathon (Is Ben 10 really such a must watch show?) and desire to go to DisneyLand (ok, I am quite against all things Disney...)

Children are very sensitive little human beings. They can smell fear and bias from miles away. I kept reminding myself not to appear to be Changunnie-biased in front of Hyunjo but I am not sure if I was that successful. Hyunjo is still a young girl and has the potentially to grow into a wonderful person. Did I kill her desire to reach out?

It is not an easy thing to do but I gotta learn to help other children as well as my own to grow into a happy and healthy person. A little encouragement here and there, a supportive word when there is a job well done mean a lot to children. And it is also important for Changunnie. She has to realize she is not the centre of the world. Otherwise, she will suffer from princess syndrome as a grown up.